A组

小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”!上周的世界杯赛场精彩看点层出不穷,阿根廷、德国、西班牙、巴西等传统豪强均未能取得胜利,俄罗斯则取得了揭幕战的开门红。梅西射丢了关键点球,而戴帽的C罗则闪耀全场。好了,话不多说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧!

小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到本期的“国外也有段子手”!这两天的世界杯赛场精彩看点层出不穷,西班牙在点球大战中被俄罗斯淘汰,克罗地亚与丹麦也奉献了精彩的点球好戏。巴西顺利战胜墨西哥,而比利时则经历了落后日本2球又反超绝杀的难忘经历。好了,话不多说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧!

埃及丨Egypt

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梅西失点,阿根廷1-1冰岛

Skrpapa:作为巴萨球迷,这真是我见过的梅西踢得最差的一粒点球!(That
was the worst penalty I can remember by him as a Barca fan.)

justt_jk:那说明你喜欢巴萨的时间还不够长。(It seems you are a new
Barca fan.)

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GibbyGoldfisc:限制梅西的已经不是技术,而是心理了。(It’s his mind
rather than tactic that blocks him.)

Feshsr:我是梅西,现在慌得一逼。(Messi: I don’t feel so good now…)

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Mr_Lich12:唉,应该让阿圭罗踢点球啊!(Well should have let Aguero
take it.)

xs16:那八成也是踢不进的…(that was so predictable too.)

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artie_fresh:这么出色的球员,罚球竟然这么差,真不知道还有没有第二个了!(Has
there ever been a player so good at football but so shit at penalties.)

battystuto:奥尼尔表示很赞。(O’Neal: hold my beer.)

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Billofrights_boris:我有一个梦想,有那么一天,我们能够领先5分钟以上。(I
have a dream, that one day we can hold a lead for more than 5 minutes.)

UntouchedCow:现在看来,2016年欧洲杯输给冰岛也不是很丢脸了…(euro
2016 doesn’t seem all that bad now.)

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rkh00:冰岛至今在世界杯保持不败!(ICELAND HAVE NEVER LOST A WORLD
CUP MATCH.)

Laronut44:我们也保持不败呀!(So do us.)

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TIME_TRAVELER:显然梅西失点会登上所有头条,但真正应该上头条的是冰岛门将哈德尔松!(Messi’s
penalty miss is obviously going to take all the headlines, but it is
Halldórsson that should be focused on.)

Glenn55whelan:是啊,我们的门将20岁才开始守门训练,而直到29岁才成为职业球员!(Yes,
the goalkeeper didn’t become a professional until he was 29 and didn’t
really get proper goalkeeping coaching until he was 20.)

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Cilinderman:桑保利被一位牙医上了一堂足球课…(Sampaoli got schooled
by a dentist on football.)

BenTVNerd21:先是击败了英格兰,现在又羞辱了阿根廷一把,看来马岛的归属权应该给冰岛!(Fuck
it. Having humiliated England and now Argentina I think Iceland deserve
the Falklands.)

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PineappleGuy44:我就知道迪巴拉不行,这场比赛完全隐身!(WHERE IS
DYBALA? COMPLETE SHIT.)

Jayden1204:把伊卡尔迪扔家里,让迪巴拉看饮水机,这就是你们得到的结果!(That’s
what you get for leaving Icardi at home and Dybala on the bench.)

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Indiboi:其实点球罗也挺好的,起码点球不会罚丢…(Better being a
penaldo than missing penalties.)

JPKaizer:据说穆里尼奥正打算下赛季把冰岛全队都挖到曼联去防守呢!(I’m
told that Mourinho is looking to recruit the whole Iceland squad for Man
U defense next season.)

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Jaerial:我能请个假么?有个叫梅西的哥们喊我一块踢球呢!(Can I have
some time off work, some lad called Messi wants a kick around?)

XxXWuerzburgerXxX:他比你那几个冰岛叫什么松的哥们踢得好吗?(Is he
better than those ssons of icelander friends of yours?)

ThePoliticalTeapot:好像没有吧!(Not exactly.)

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Djov:“把球传给梅西”的战术,在你们都不传球给梅西的情况下是不能奏效的,,,(The
“pass to messi” strategy doesnt work when no one can even do that.)

bashar_al_assad:也许是冰岛球员太人高马大了,阿根廷球员根本就找不到梅西了吧…(is
it possible the Argentina players literally just can’t see Messi over
the Icelandic players.)

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mynameisfreddit:球队在领先一球的情况下,都被冰岛队干出了翔,真是丢人都丢到姥姥家去了!比如英格兰。(Imagine
get fucked to Iceland when you had the first goal like England, I can’t
fathom how embarrassing that would be.)

King_Of_Ravenholdt:其实如果这是在淘汰赛发生的,将会更丢人,比如英格兰。(Would
be even more humiliating if it was a knockout match like England.)

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点球大战!俄罗斯淘汰西班牙

BallPlartCallMop:西班牙这踢得很有世界冠军的风范啊!不幸的是,踢得像我们那就得回家了…(Spain
truly played like World Champions today. Unfortunately for them that
means playing like us.)

OhhJukes:这是继美国大选之后,俄罗斯取得的最大的胜利!(Russia’s
biggest win since the U.S election.)

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IwishIwasGoku:皮克看见观众席用手臂玩人浪,所以忍不住加入了他们呢!(Pique
saw the crowd doing the wave and wanted to join in.)

Tenguswordsma:瓦西里,这西班牙的门将太弱鸡了,他们也就那个3号厉害一点,扑出了我们一次射门。(Hey
their goalie was so poor, but the guy with No 3 shirt was fairly good to
save a goal.)

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Only_Wears_GymShorts:我说,你再怎么黑皮克,人家还是能搂着夏奇拉一起回家…(I
mean, Pique still gets to go home to Shakira at the end of the day, so
there’s that…)

PandaCavalry:说不定夏奇拉怒了:“既然你这么喜欢用手,那你以后就只能用手了!”(If
only Shakira be like “you seem to like to use your hand, so use it
only.”)

LelouchNexus:其实皮克的嘴巴也一直没消停…(With how much he likes to
talk…)

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bulgingforearm:现在还留在世界杯的这些球员,已经没有人曾经赢得过世界杯了,甚至连个踢过决赛的都没有了…(No
player left in the World Cup has ever won it, or even played in the
final.)

finally_A_username:据说西班牙球员回到更衣室后还在互相传球呢!(Rumor
has it, Spain still passing the ball in the locker room)

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vikiadi27:普京先生,我感觉不太好…(Mr.Putin, I don’t feel so good.)

Mr-Jimmy:我说西班牙,你下一脚传球可就是传到马德里去了。(Spain, your
next pass will be your boarding pass to Madrid.)

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ghostninja33:伊涅斯塔已经没有遗憾了,在辉煌的国家队生涯中,他已经赢得了一切!(He’s
won everything there is to win, fantastic international career. No
regrets, Andres Iniesta.)

PauloHR:胡说!伊涅斯塔从没赢过美臀小姐冠军,也没进过NBA总决赛!(hasn’t
won the Miss bumbum or NBA finals either… Fraud.)

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ballness10:非常喜欢看小白的Ins,就像是一个西班牙中年大叔,天天晒自己和各种球星的合影…(I
love his Instagram account. It’s like a middle-aged Spaniard keeps
convincing word-class players to take selfies with him.)

riskyrofl:西班牙教练正在搜索在点球大战的时候还能不能在后场倒脚呢!(Spanish
manager quickly googling can you pass backwards in a penalty shootout.)

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davyJonesLockerz:可怜的VAR裁判组!他们竟然得毫无死角地仔细看完这场无聊的比赛…(those
poor officials at the VAR booth are probably regretting for having to
watch this match in detail.)

ntusAru10:意大利/荷兰:被淘汰多令全国人民失望,而避免此事的最好方法,就是不去踢世界杯!(Italy
& Netherlands: can’t disappoint your country if you don’t qualify
/pointstemple.)

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Namra_econ:俄罗斯教练真是太冷静了,他的血管里流淌着的是冰水吗?(Man
the Russian coach has fucking iced water flowing through his veins.)

HeIsAnAli:不,是伏特加!(Nope, that’s vodka.)

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legend18:还没吸取德国的教训吗?没有人能在俄罗斯的土地上征服他们!当然乌拉圭除外。(take
lessons from the Germans, no one overcomes Russia on their soil. Edit:
except Uruguay.)

istoppedwrithing2:对不起啊,昨天阿根廷和法国的比赛,把今天的进球都给透支完了…(Yo
sorry we ran out of goals after the Argentina France match.)

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FineIntroduction:为啥德赫亚在曼联就能那么牛逼啊?(how does he give
his best for United?.)

mayjaz43:当你面前的中卫是琼斯和斯莫林的时候,你别无选择…(You don’t
have a choice when Jones and Smalling are your centre backs.)

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Losgringosfromlow:这恐怕会影响西班牙队打进决赛啊!(This hurts
Spain’s chances of advancing to the final.)

mr_popcorn:但西班牙有个优势,就是接下来都不会再输球了…(Spain’s
advantage: they can’t lose anymore.)

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SolidOrphan:这场比赛,西班牙90%的传球是在拉莫斯和皮克之间传的吧?(90
percent of their passes are between Ramos and Picque?)

mister_fuckedup:西班牙这1000多脚传球,需要的就只梅西的致命一击。而梅西在阿根廷最需要的,就是西班牙的这种传球…(What
spain needed with all those 1000+ passes was messi, and what messi
needed was spain with all those passes.)

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aiamacrayfish:真是难以置信,德国、阿根廷、葡萄牙、西班牙和澳大利亚竟然都在1/4决赛前就被淘汰了!(Can’t
believe we might lose all of Germany, Argentina, Portugal, Spain and
Australia before the quarters.)

_spacecoast:他们中出了一个叛徒…(One of those things is not like
the others.)

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标语

C罗带帽,葡萄牙3-3西班牙

w0nt0ns0up:有没有人像我一样,在看到C罗站在定位球前的时候,就已经预感到球要进了…(Anyone
else had a gut feeling that it was going in as soon as he got a free
kick?)

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doc_heck:C罗是历史上第4位在4届世界杯都有进球的球员,这次进球的时间是第4分钟和第44分钟。(Ronaldo
is the 4th player to score in 4 different world cups by scoring in the
4th and 44th minute.)

Gunnerzzz:别说了,我懂,我立马就让姆希塔良把7号让出来!(Ok I knew
it , we will tell Mkhi to choose another number right away.)

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Stagwooolf:在这场C罗队和西班牙队的比赛里,葡萄牙荣膺全场最佳球员!(Portugal
named Man of the Match for Ronaldo vs Spain.)

W8tae:C罗看了看詹姆斯扛着骑士打球,不禁感叹道:“真是太业余了!”(Cristiano
watching Lebron try to carry the Cavs: “What an amateur”.)

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BludFlairUpFam:德赫亚在英格兰呆的时间太久了,现在已经和英格兰国门一个水平了!(De
Gea has spent so long around Englishmen he now plays like their
goalkeepers internationally.)

jwoody000:看到水爷在向裁判抱怨C罗假摔,忽然有种超越现实的离奇之感…(Kinda
surreal seeing Ramos complain to the ref that Ronaldo dove.)

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Deallead:现在和C罗长得和那个蛋疼的雕像越来越像了…(Ronaldo is
looking more similar to the weird statue that they built of him.)

Syphite:果不其然,伊朗队成了小组里的扛把子!(Iran dominating the
group as expected.

ArizonaBong:C罗一定是赛前在更衣室里播放欧冠主题曲了!(Ronaldo
playing the Champions League theme in the dressing room confirmed.)

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MisterBadIdea2:我刚刚在推特上搜了一波德赫亚,发现现在为他高兴的只有曼联球迷,因为已经没人还想着去买德赫亚了…(I
just did a search on Twitter for “De Gea” and it’s full of Manchester
United fans celebrating because no one’s going to steal him now.)

Maiqthelayer:其实这不是德赫亚的锅,一定是拉莫斯不小心肘击了德赫亚导致他突然就脑震荡了!(Guys
it’s not De Gea’s fault, Sergio Ramos accidentally elbowed him earlier
on and gave him a concussion.)

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FriedChickenIsTrash:西班牙最重要的进口商品包括机动车、食品、药物、机械设备以及C罗的进球。(Key
Spanish imports include motor vehicles, foodstuffs, medicines, machinery
and Ronaldo goals.)

Elketro:德赫亚在赛前说自己充分研究了C罗,也许研究的结果就是C罗根本就防不住吧…(De
Gea said Cristiano Ronaldo had been well studied. Maybe the result of
this study was “Fuck, we can’t stop him”.)

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门神之夜!克罗地亚点球淘汰丹麦

bears2267:看了这场比赛,感觉我再练100万年都达不到这种守门水平…(This
game just reminds me that I could never in a million years be a goalie.)

malikdwd:那你一定是德赫亚了吧?(So you are De Gea right?)

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tweazz:今天,我们见证了3位门神的逆天神扑以及德赫亚。(Today we got
to see 3 fantastic goalkeeping performances and david de gea.)

LefNut:梅西、C罗和莫德里奇都罚丢了点球,但俄罗斯队却全部命中,这就是世界杯,哦不,德赫亚的魅力!(Messi,
Ronaldo and Modric all miss penalties but the Russians score 5 today.
Just World Cup, oh not you, De Gea things.)

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Joredd12:舒梅切尔为什么不去大俱乐部效力啊,那个,你懂我的意思吧…利物浦了解一下?(Why
isn’t Schmeichel in a bigger club, if you know what mean…how about
Liverpool?)

Patty040701:现在的球队也凑合吧,起码赢过英超冠军。(Well his team is
not that bad, you know, a PL trophy at least.)

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PKSubban:小舒尽力了,队友CBA。(Kasper Schmeichel tried his best but
his teammates sucked.)

JackP_99:老舒梅切尔为儿子鼓掌的镜头简直感动坏我了,虽然他俩长得就像同龄人一样…(Watching
his dad’s reactions when he saved those penalties really made my day,
though They look like they are the same age.)

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crackdup:看个淘汰赛,还得常备速效救心丸…(The knockouts this year
are definitely not for the faint hearted..)

LordDuder:无所谓啦,反正我是从来都不喜欢足球的。(Well, never really
followed football anyway.)

GeauxStephen:什么?这里不是羽毛球版块吗?(Isn’t this the badminton
subreddit?)

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Senescences:这场比赛才踢了3分半,就已经比西班牙和俄罗斯那场120分钟都要精彩了!(3
minutes and a half in and it’s already better than 120 minutes of Spain
v. Russia.)

parvaggarwal:我第4分钟才打开电视,结果2个进球都错过了…(I turned on
4 minutes late and missed both the goals. 🙂

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crystalace:感觉每个巴萨球员都挺擅长踢点球的,除了梅西…(Every barca
player seems to be good at penalties except Messi 🙁

Jonesta29:感觉每个巴萨后卫都挺擅长送点球的,除了米纳…(Every barca
defender seems to be good at giving penalties except Mina 🙁

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Coffspring:你是说,不需要传球1000次也可以进球?(Do you mean you can
score without passing a thousand times?)

big_hey_22:对啊,你得朝着球门方向踢,说不定它就进了!(Apparently
if you try to hit the ball at the goal, sometimes it goes in.)

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incitatus451:这场比赛以1-1开局,最后还是踢成了0-0…(This game
started as 1-1 and still is 0-0.)

ZharkoDK:我们没派本特纳大帝来比赛,这才给了其他球队可乘之机啊!(We
gave every one at the world cup a chance when we played without the
Lord.)

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philphan25:莫德里奇这体能,感觉还能再立刻去打10小时网球… (Modric
looks like he could go right from the pitch to the tennis court and play
another 10 hours.)

-Anoobis-:舒梅切尔得去做背部的手术了,因为扛着丹麦打克罗地亚实在太累了…(Schmeichel
to have a back surgery from trying to carry his whole team on his back
in tonight’s game against Croatia.)

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When you say Pharaohs, the world must get up and listen

爆冷输球,德国0-1墨西哥

SeeYouAnTee:德国的国旗飘扬在了莫斯科,元首大人可以含笑九泉了!(German
flags in Moscow. Hitler died for this.)

Mohdhajji:但最后我们还是输了…(But we lost finally.)

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Sfmedits:即使是夏天,德国还是会在俄罗斯吃败仗啊!(Even in the
summer, Germany still gets fucked in Russia.)

Romelu:事实上,我们在俄罗斯打的闪电战都不是最强主力!(Suprise
attacks in Russia are not our greatest strength to be fair.)

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BallPlartCallMop:这样打肯定不行啊,一定要醒醒!得好好踢比赛,这是世界杯!开始了,明白吗?
(Wake up guys, this is the World Cup. You can actually start playing
football now.)

FuzzyApe:德国队在这一场比赛里处于落后的时间,已经超过上届世界杯的总和了…(Germany
have already been behind for more minutes than they were in the whole of
the 2014 World Cup

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CarlMarxPunk:要是德国获得了小组第二,不就16进8就要和巴西遇上了吗?(if
Germany ends up 2nd in the group and Brazil first they will meet in the
round of 16.)

Notsureiflying:说的就跟我们能拿小组第一似的…(As if we could manage
1st.)

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Tetriszockaa:现在我已经相信墨西哥会赢世界杯了,而且还是会三连冠…(I
am now convinced that Mexico will win this and the following 3 world
cups.)

NixxOG:本场比赛的控球率:墨西哥20%,德国队20%,德拉克斯勒60%。(Possession:
20% Mexico, 20% Germany and 60% Draxler.)

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MexicansInParis:击败了德国是不是就可以得大力神杯了?剩下的比赛还需要踢吗?(So
if we beat Germany do we win the World Cup or do we still have to play
the other games?)

BVB-Oeli:哈哈,之前奥地利友谊赛赢了我们就觉得自己很牛逼了,其实我们就是一坨翔!(haha
Austria thought they were good when they beat us. Jokes on them – we are
just shit)

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gabr224:解说员好像把德国队说成拜仁慕尼黑了…(This commentator just
called Germany Bayern Munich.)

Masterkid1230:其实那也没差多少…(He’s not too far off though…)

Dawsoneifert:如果德国队、西班牙、阿根延都得了小组第二,而法国、巴西、比利时获得了小组第一,那上述这些队都会分在同一半区,另一半区就只剩葡萄牙和英格兰了…(If
Germany finish second, Spain finish second, Argentina finish second,
France finish first, Brazil finish first, Belgium finish first. They’re
all on the same side of the bracket with Portugal and England alone on
the other side.)

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tRitone11:有个国旗和意大利差不多的球队进了德国的球,感觉还是有点暗爽的…(A
team with an almost italian flag scoring to germany, feel good, I take
it.)

re6en:昨天我慌得一逼,现在我感觉好多了…(After yesterday’s 1-1
defeat against Iceland, I feel a lot better now.)

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内马尔菲尔米诺进球,巴西2-0墨西哥

PrisonersofFate:很高兴看到内马尔还活着,而且还能跑步…(glad to see
neymar survived and he can run.)

tylerjehills:再过5天我就27岁了,在我印象里就没见过墨西哥不是在世界杯16强被淘汰的时候…(I
am turning 27 in 5 days. I have literally never lived in a world where
Mexico wasn’t eliminated in the round of 16 at the World Cup.)

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Rerel:可以肯定的是,赢得世界杯的将是大巴黎!(PSG definitely winning
the World Cup.)

AoxPrime:内马尔把回家的机票推迟啦!(Neymar had a flight delay!)

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pagla_kheer_kha:现在没有了天敌德国,巴西已经撒丫子跑起来了!(Without
it’s natural predator Germany, Brazil is running wild.)

akshatayan:巴西对墨西哥说到:“感谢老铁干翻了德国,现在我就替你走下边的路吧!”(Brazil
to Mexico: Thankyou for eliminating Germany, we’ll take it from here.)

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dadouks:当马克斯第一次为墨西哥出场的时候,姆巴佩还没出生呢…(Fun
fact : Mbappe wasn’t born when Marquez played his first game for the
Mexican team.)

kisalas:我知道人们喜欢编马克斯的段子,但不得不承认,自从他第9次参加世界杯的时候,状态就已经下滑了!(I
know people like to joke about it, but he really hasn’t been the same
since his 9th World Cup.)

皇家88平台 65

法老发声,世界静听

格子进球弟弟送点,法国2-1澳大利亚

teh_scarecrow:真希望我的老婆也像法国队球员那样容易推倒呀!(I’d
love it if my wife went down as much as France.)

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Mr_Miscellaneous:法国踢出了一场典型的英格兰式的比赛…(A typical
England performance from France today.)

DriftingInTheFoam:真是一曲VAR和点球的欢歌…(A song of VAR and PENS.)

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Simomii:乌姆蒂蒂那手球时是在干什么!(What the fuck was Umtiti
trying to do?)

Snuffvieh:也许是在纵享此刻崭新足球的无尽丝滑…(Feel that nice
texture on the new ball.)

逆转+读秒绝杀!比利时3-2日本

AkatsukiEUNE:比利时对日本说到:“お前はもう死んでいる!”(Belgium to
Japan: Omae wa mou shindeiru!)

Sadsandsobs:当英格兰和比利时争小组第二的时候,人们以为是为了避开巴西,但实际上是为了避开日本!(All
that talk about who should finish second in the group, people thought it
was Brazil, England tried to avoid, but it was actually Japan.)

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WhataFruit:你哭着对我说,动画里都是骗人的…(sorry, anime isnt real.)

Scrub4LIfe734:动画是真的,只不主人公是比利时,而不是日本…(Anime is
real. It was actually Belgium that was the protagonist not Japan.)

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esINtoCT2015:这真是继硫磺岛战役之后,日本最惨痛的一次失利了…(Man I
haven’t seen a Japanese resistance fail this hard since Iwo Jima.)

Csteinwa:日本队踢得非常好,无奈比利时竟然扔了3颗原子弹啊!(Japan
played very well but damn Belgium just dropped 3 atomic bombs on Japan.)

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paperback_dreams:一个有德布劳内、阿扎尔、梅尔滕斯和卢卡库的球队,竟然还要靠维尔通亨来进第一个球…(In
a team with KDB, Hazard, Mertens, Lukaku, Vertonghen’s the first one to
score.)

Rohit49plus2:维尔通亨那球,一定不是蒙的…(Vertonghen must have
calculated that goal…)

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killityo:不!!!可怜的日本,你们的妹子比那比利时的漂亮多了~(Noooooo
… poor Japan! Well at least you still have the more beautiful women.)

vkrz:作为一枚比利时妹纸,我想哭:(…(As a belgian girl, aww 🙁

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好了,亲爱的小伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了。今晚,精彩的世界杯淘汰赛仍将继续,让我们拭目以待,来看下期歪果仁们更加精彩的吐槽吧

★ 核心球员:“法老王”

库鸟进球,巴西1-1瑞士

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:这位著名的巴西球迷老人已经去世了,但他的心永远与巴西队同在

Lookatmetype:瑞士的战术很简单,就是把内马尔杀了就行了!(Switzerland:
It’s simple, we kill the Neymar.)

Quasar_Columba:当看到裁判的年龄都比我小的时候,才意识到自己真的老了…(You
know you’re getting old when the referee is younger than you…)

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Cleverquestion:内马尔这发型,差不多是拉面和意大利面的结合体吧…(Neymar’s
hair looks like a combination of ramen noodles and spaghetti.)

Rwayneciii:德国队、巴西队、西班牙队、阿根廷队和C罗队加起来才得了4分,实力还是比较接近的…(Germany,
Brazil, Spain, Argentina and Ronaldo with a combined 4 points…THE GAP
IS CLOSING.)

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UnbiasedPashtun:墨西哥要崩溃了:“尼玛啊!我都竭力去击败德国队了,我们不该再碰见巴西队了啊!”(Mexico
fans probably: “Wtf, we worked hard to beat Germany! We aren’t supposed
to face Brazil in the next round!”

Lorduzair:巴西其实是下一步大棋,排名小组第二,这样出线就不会碰到德国队了!(Brazil
playing 4D Chess to finish second and avoid Germany. Masterclass.)

MaadV:这世界杯太疯狂了,我已经下注突尼斯7-8输给英格兰了!(This
world cup is so unpredictable I’m betting on Tunisia 7 – 8 England
tomorrow.)

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Mohamed Salah, the Premier League’s top player this season. The former
Roma star went from a pretty well-known player to a household name with
his amazing performances for Liverpool this season, scoring over 40
goals and guiding the team to the Champions League final.

激情四射揭幕战,俄罗斯5-0沙特

Justinsemag:伤心欲绝的沙特球迷,郁闷地爬进了他们的兰博基尼,流着眼泪离去了…(The
Saudi sadly climbs into Lamborghini and drives away with tears.)

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Naifmon:希望各队能够享受我们带来的欢乐,并尽情地嘲笑我们的糟糕表现吧!爱你们的沙特小弟。(Hope
our team entertained you and hope you was laughing the whole match about
how bad it is. sincerely , Saudi Arabian.)

BayAreaFlyer:别介兄弟,我是美国球迷,能在世界杯上丢脸,起码说明你们是有去世界杯的本事的…(No
worries, I am American. At least you have a team to laugh at this World
Cup.)

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VigiliusHaufniensis3:我看世界杯扩军48支还是有好处了,期待以后能看到巴拿马6-0战胜所罗门群岛的比赛!(Stop
bashing the 48 teams wc. I can’t wait to see Panama winning 6-0 against
Solomon
Islands.)Slavacanada:今天的摄影师是咋搞的,这比赛都踢了60分钟了,我咋还没看见看台上的性感小妹啊!(Absolute
shambles from the cameraman today. It is 60th minute in Russia and they
havent shown any sexy girl fans in the stands yet.)

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皇家88平台 80Sparkyon:普京的表情看起来就像在说:“我也没办法,谁叫我们就这么牛逼呢?”(Putin
is a living meme. His reactions after the goals: “What can we do, we are
just too good”.)

apberg1:要知道,上次有球队在世界杯像沙特现在这样被摁着摩擦,那还是2002年的沙特。(Saudi
Arabia is the worst team in the World Cup since Saudi Arabia in ’02)

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穆罕默德·萨拉赫是本赛季英超联赛的顶级球员。这位前罗马队球员在本赛季转会到利物浦后,凭借其出色的发挥,打进了40余粒联赛进球,从一名知名球员蜕变为家喻户晓的球星。在他的帮助下,利物浦也进入了本赛季的欧冠决赛。

屡失良机终取胜,乌拉圭1-0埃及

wemo1234:乌拉圭进攻最具威胁的球员,怎么就成了戈丁了…(when Godin is
Uruguay’s best offensive player.)

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_Nah-:我的天,看台最后边新加席位的看球视野,恐怕还没有在国际空间站上好吧!(My
goodness. You may get a better view in the International Space Station
than the top of those added stands.)

Devbuscus:好喜欢乌拉圭的球衣啊,球员的咪咪都清晰看见…(Loving this
Uruguay kit. Really shows off the players niple.)

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好了,亲爱的小伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这里了,让我们下期不见不散!

足球是十一名球员的运动,然而作为埃及现象性的球星,“法老王”萨拉赫的发挥状况会很大程度上决定埃及会在世界杯上走多远,毕竟本赛季他进攻端的表现足以在今年的金球奖评选中与梅西、C罗一较高下。而埃及防守端的表现也十分出色,15年3月至今,在34场比赛中仅有4场丢球数超过一个。

此外值得一提的是45岁的门将哈达里,如果在世界杯中出场,将成为世界杯历史上最年长的出场记录保持者,作为常规首发球员的他打破这项记录指日可待。

同组球队

俄罗斯

Play with an open heart.

以豁达的心胸比赛。

沙特阿拉伯

Desert Knights

沙漠骑士团

乌拉圭

The sun shines in Russia, the sky is all light blue.

蓝色的天空,乌拉圭太阳将在俄罗斯闪耀。

B组

葡萄牙丨Portugal

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标语

The past is glory, the present is history.

昔日共享荣耀,今日再创历史。

★ 核心球员:“总裁”

It’s Cristiano Ronaldo. The superstar striker may be 33 years old but he
hasn’t lost a step. His unbelievable physical form means he’s just as
good now, if not better, than in the past.

非C罗莫属。这位锋线巨星今年已经33岁了,但他的水平没有丝毫下降。即便他今后很难再进步,他那令人难以置信的身体状况也意味着,他可以同往常一样出色。

He’s still fast, brilliant with the ball at his feet and absolutely
clinical inside the box. He, as always, will be counted on big time to
be the man in attack.

他速度极快,人球结合能力出众,禁区之中能够送出致命一击。他总会成为大场面中球队所仰仗的进攻球员。

葡萄牙队贵为2016年欧洲杯冠军,但仍然需要在世界杯上证明自己。葡萄牙队大名单中,锋线上不乏像安德烈·席尔瓦、贝尔纳多·席尔瓦等一众进攻好手。可防线老化会是这支球队所面临的最大困难,中后卫位置上球迷们熟悉的佩佩、布鲁诺·阿尔维斯和效力于中超的何塞·冯特已经是超过35岁的老将了。

焦点之战

八年前,西班牙在南非捧杯,八分之一决赛他们一球小胜葡萄牙

B组,伊比利亚双雄基本锁定了小组的出线名额。而小组头名之争在第一轮就会打响,葡萄牙与西班牙的对决亮点颇多,“斗牛士”携预选赛9胜1平的余威而来,一扫四年前小组未能出线的阴霾,有望再创辉煌。谁能在B组占得先机值得我们关注。

同组球队

伊朗

80 million people , 1 nation , 1 heart beat

8000万国民,同一个国家,同一种心跳

摩洛哥

The atlas lions, pride of Morocco

阿特拉斯雄狮,摩洛哥的骄傲

西班牙

Together we are invincible

团结一致,所向披靡

C组

法国丨France

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标语

Your strength, our passion! Come on Les Bleus!

你们的支持就是我们的激情。加油高卢雄鸡!

★ 核心球员:“格列兹曼666”

皇家88平台,It’s a tie between goalkeeper Hugo Lloris and in-form striker Antoine
Griezmann. Lloris is one of the world’s greatest goalkeepers, while
Griezmann has been sensational this season and will be linked to some
major clubs in the summer.

雨果·洛里和安东尼·格列兹曼同为法国队的核心球员。洛里是世界最佳门将之一,格列兹曼这赛季的表现同样令人震惊,而他的名字将在夏季转会窗和一些大俱乐部联系在一起。

Having a player like each on opposite ends of the field makes France a
top contender.

球场攻防两端各有一名优秀的球员让法国成为了世界杯顶级竞争者。

法国青年军期待复制20年前的“法兰西之夏”

法国队各个位置上的球员都具备世界顶尖水平,且年轻才俊辈出,他们的平均年龄不到26岁。姆巴佩、勒马尔、登贝莱等年轻球员,为这支欧陆劲旅注入了相当的活力。

即便之前痛失后防大将科斯切尔尼与中场核心帕耶,但丰富的人才储备让法国队并无后顾之忧。年轻的法国队让人想起了世纪之交的那支相继赢得世界杯、欧锦赛的法国,在俄罗斯,他们能否重现20年前的辉煌呢?

同组球队

澳大利亚

Be brave, be bold, socceroos in green and gold

袋鼠军团,黄绿相间,英勇无畏,一往无前

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