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原文地址:Here’s What One Woman Learned From Taking a Year Off From
Her
Marriage

The day before yesterday,after supper,my husband was reluctant to do the
dishes,he said he hated doing the dishes,he suggested me to buy meals in
my company’s canteen,so we didn’t need to spend time on cooking food.If
it happened in the past time,I would agree with my husband’s
suggestion,because I also thought cooking was boring and time
consuming,but I changed my opinion by cooking for 21 days.At the
beginning,because my mother-in-law went to Yinchuan city,and didn’t live
with   us,I had to cook the meals for my family members.Every time,I
cooked,I would like to take a picture of the meal cooked by myself and
uploaded it on my QQ zone to encourage me to continue cooking
.Gradually,I find I like cooking food.Every working day,after work,I go
to the kindergarten and pick up my daughter back home,after washing our
hands,my daughter  will play her Ipad,I begin to cook the meal.During
cooking,I like listening to some radio,I steam the rice with an electric
rice cooker,wash and cut the vegetables,then ignite the fire of gas
stove,heat the iron wok,drain the oil into the wok,put the green
onion,ginger and garlic into the wok,stir them slightly,then,put the
main vegetables into the wok,and stir them together until cooked.Next,I
will put the dishes on the plates,I feel very happy if my family members
like eating them.After a whole day intense work,cooking can calm down
and alleviate my nervous brain,through my labour work,I cook some
delicious food for my family members,I will have a great sense of
accomplishment.So in my opion,I prefer to cook a meal by myself rather
than order a take-away.Because comparing with ordering a
take-away,cooking a meal by yourself is clean,healthful,and low
cost.Cooking is also an art,I plan to continue exploring in it.

“Chestnuts roasting on an open fire” is the first line of?The Christmas
Song
, one of my favorite holiday tunes growing up in America. Yet as a
child, I never once roasted chestnuts at Christmas, let alone any other
time of the year. Before I was born, a blight had devastated the vast
majority of American chestnut trees, leaving me and most of my fellow
countrymen strangers to the nut, apart from its mention in that timeless
song.


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“明火上烤着栗子”是《圣诞颂歌》的第一句词。这首兴起于美国的假日小曲是我最爱的歌曲之一。可是孩童时,我从未在圣诞节烤过栗子,更别提其他时间了。我出生之前,一场枯萎病摧毁了美国大部分的栗子树,致使我和大多数美国同胞对栗子感到陌生,更别提那首经典歌曲中所提及的烤栗子场景了。

Robin Rinaldi did what many women dream of but few actually do: she took
a year off from her marriage and made an agreement with her husband that
they could both sleep with other people for a set period.
Rinaldi’s book, The Wild Oats Project, is a summary of what she
learned during the year she spent in an open marriage. The idea came to
her when her husband got a vasectomy after a long battle over whether
they would have children — she wanted them, he didn’t. Faced with a
future without a family, Rinaldi made a decision: “I refuse to go to my
grave with no children and only four lovers,” she wrote, “If I can’t
have one, I must have the other.”
That’s when she embarked on the Wild Oats Project. Rinaldi and her
husband had three rules: no serious relationships, no sex with mutual
friends and no sex without condoms. Both broke multiple rules over the
course of the year, and it eventually took a toll on their relationship,
but Rinaldi says the project wasn’t as much a choice as “a calling.”
“It was unlike me to act that way,” she says. “I had always been a very
cautious and somewhat anxious person, I had always played by the rules.
It was something instinctual, and something very female driving me to do
this. It wasn’t really planned and strategized as much as felt.”
Still, Rinaldi found that, while many of her friends were supportive,
some people thought her project was threatening, even terrifying: “The
tale of a woman giving up security, even in an above-board way and
allowing her husband to do the same thing, giving up all that security
in pursuit of passion and adventure, is a scary idea for a lot of
people,” she says. “I certainly didn’t write it to intentionally push
anyone’s buttons.”
And ultimately, for Rinaldi and her husband, this was their last chance
at saving their marriage. “We knew how risky it was, and we might not
make it through, but it was really the only choice we had,” she says.
“So we both agreed, two consenting adults, to try this first.”
Ultimately, she and her husband went their separate ways, but Rinaldi
says the project taught her much more than a simple divorce would
have.
The biggest thing Rinaldi says she learned from the Wild Oats Project is
that she was putting too much pressure on her husband. “Expecting your
spouse to provide passion and security and purpose, it’s a lot,” she
says. “I was asking too much of that one person… So now, as a result, I
don’t look to someone else to kind of unfairly provide all of those
things. That’s the biggest thing I learned from it, and I couldn’t have
learned it unless I actually went through it.”
She also learned a lot about sex, and about her own body. Rinaldi spent
much of the project in new-age sexual workshops and orgasmic meditation
classes, so she came away a greater awareness of her sexuality. “The sex
was the classroom, but the sex was not the lesson,” she says. “Your body
has wisdom, that is very powerful and can kind of show you your path,
and you don’t always have to think it through or necessarily act based
on other people’s rules.”
Still, Rinaldi wouldn’t necessarily recommend that other women take
exactly the same path she did. Instead, she’d advise younger women to
“sow your wild oats before you settle down — that’s a no-brainer.”

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In fact, it wasn’t until I came to China that I truly understood the
wonders of a freshly roasted chestnut, especially those gathered in the
wild.

A Year Off From Her Marriage – 腾讯视频

事实上,来到中国后我才真正体会到新鲜出炉的烤栗子的美妙之处,尤其是那些从野外采来的栗子。

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